People find that they need new and different living accommodations in their golden years as Americans are living longer than ever. A move to assisted living is often considered by many couples when one or the other begins to have failing health or dementia. But locating a facility that address both of their needs can be challenging.
Many couples believe that they will always be together. When couples move to assisted living, they enjoy the benefit of prepared meals, housekeeping, security, activities, laundry and activities. That may work out beautifully in the beginning. But what about later? As is often the case, assisted living can prove to be only a temporary solution. If one of them should develop Alzheimer's, will they be able to stay? Many assisted living facilities are not licensed to care for resident's with Alzheimer's disease. In that case, one or both of the couple would be forced to relocate. If they are separated, they may become very lonely. Many seniors are not comfortable using public transportation and are unable to continue driving. They may find it very difficult to adjust to the change. Depression sometimes follows when they are separated.
According to experts, almost every elderly couple will eventually fall into this category. Couples age at different rates, and each person has unique needs. More people over the age of 60 are married, remarried or living together in recent years. It is not longer uncommon for couples in their nineties to want to continue living together.
When one spouse has failing health, the other often feels that they must bear the entire burden of care. This can cause anxiety, a raise in blood pressure, muscle strains and even contribute to falls. They care for their spouse with no regard to their own well being.
Bringing in home health care workers to help care for the ailing spouse can be an option for some couples. As health deteriorates, this can become costly. If they have home health care workers around the clock, it can be much more costly than assisted living.
Finding the right place to meet the needs of both spouses can be very difficult. There are many different types of assisted living facilities, each geared to the needs of a certain type of resident. Parkinson's and Alzheimer's patients are the specialty of some facilities. Others may be geared to seniors who want the safety of living in a adult community but also want many activities and a great deal of independence. There are some of the larger facilities that can meet a variety of needs. In order to address this wide range of needs, they often divide their facilities into separate units, so that sharing an apartment may not be possible.
Generally, the state laws will dictate that a person with great needs can only reside in an assisted living facility that is licensed for that level of care. In this case, the healthier spouse usually needs to make the adjustment. The activities, services, and even the meals may be appropriate for their spouse, but may leave them longing for a more stimulating, independent lifestyle.
There are cases where it may not be possible for them to stay together. Advanced Alzheimer's can make it almost impossible, if not dangerous. Many couples find that as they age, the conflicts that they experienced earlier just become more intense.
Unfortunately, there is no perfect solution. The best you can do is to evaluate the needs of each of the spouses and look for the best care available in your area.
Many couples believe that they will always be together. When couples move to assisted living, they enjoy the benefit of prepared meals, housekeeping, security, activities, laundry and activities. That may work out beautifully in the beginning. But what about later? As is often the case, assisted living can prove to be only a temporary solution. If one of them should develop Alzheimer's, will they be able to stay? Many assisted living facilities are not licensed to care for resident's with Alzheimer's disease. In that case, one or both of the couple would be forced to relocate. If they are separated, they may become very lonely. Many seniors are not comfortable using public transportation and are unable to continue driving. They may find it very difficult to adjust to the change. Depression sometimes follows when they are separated.
According to experts, almost every elderly couple will eventually fall into this category. Couples age at different rates, and each person has unique needs. More people over the age of 60 are married, remarried or living together in recent years. It is not longer uncommon for couples in their nineties to want to continue living together.
When one spouse has failing health, the other often feels that they must bear the entire burden of care. This can cause anxiety, a raise in blood pressure, muscle strains and even contribute to falls. They care for their spouse with no regard to their own well being.
Bringing in home health care workers to help care for the ailing spouse can be an option for some couples. As health deteriorates, this can become costly. If they have home health care workers around the clock, it can be much more costly than assisted living.
Finding the right place to meet the needs of both spouses can be very difficult. There are many different types of assisted living facilities, each geared to the needs of a certain type of resident. Parkinson's and Alzheimer's patients are the specialty of some facilities. Others may be geared to seniors who want the safety of living in a adult community but also want many activities and a great deal of independence. There are some of the larger facilities that can meet a variety of needs. In order to address this wide range of needs, they often divide their facilities into separate units, so that sharing an apartment may not be possible.
Generally, the state laws will dictate that a person with great needs can only reside in an assisted living facility that is licensed for that level of care. In this case, the healthier spouse usually needs to make the adjustment. The activities, services, and even the meals may be appropriate for their spouse, but may leave them longing for a more stimulating, independent lifestyle.
There are cases where it may not be possible for them to stay together. Advanced Alzheimer's can make it almost impossible, if not dangerous. Many couples find that as they age, the conflicts that they experienced earlier just become more intense.
Unfortunately, there is no perfect solution. The best you can do is to evaluate the needs of each of the spouses and look for the best care available in your area.
About the Author:
Janet Smytherton has been helping seniors for over twenty years. She maintains websites with information at assisted living facilities in Illinois and assisted living facilities in Indiana
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